Today, after sitting around all day I wanted to move, and this proved…complicated.
My left wrist hurt, for one. and my phone wasn’t working. I wanted to do airdrop mission on Zombies,Run! but my phone wasn’t cooperating. I tried listening to WTNV but it wasn’t a go either. My bike was complaining after being squeezed into a car for travel. I ended up with several scratches on my leg after accidentally passing too near a brush. once I’d finally adjusted my bike ,restarted my phone and then resorted to simply playing music cause it still didn’t work, I set out to ride. but after a few meters I saw how much traffic there was and gave up, headed home. figuring a run would be simpler. I dropped it off and started running but there were more challenges. my leg hurt, and the hip bag that has served me so well in my bike turned out to be completely useless, so I turned around again, put some lotion on my legs since they felt very itchy and I put on an armband and grabbed a bottle of water.
at several points I wanted to give up and go home and watch tv but I don’t like being denied because something else isn’t working, wanted to show who was boss, I guess. Sometimes there’s days where everything seems against you, and today kinda felt like that, I felt stupid and clumsy when nothing worked. and I was clumsier than usual which is saying something.
but I kept at it. I managed to go for a run in the end and it went alright, as far as runs go. took me quite a while to get into the spirit though. I felt frustrated and annoyed and grrr argh, jus in an awful mood, mostly from all the crap that had happened, but that was why I needed to keep going, needed to shake it off, and I had to run til I stopped feeling all that shit.
I’ve grown rather fond of running, I guess, but I still don’t do it for the sake it really, I do it cause it brings me peace of mind, cause it helps with several health issues I won’t go into,and cause I enjoy the stories in Zombies,run!, so running is more of a necessary evil really.
I don’t react well when things don’t work. especially when it’s something I want. I get frustrated and wanna hit something. and then I calm down and try harder.
after about a half hour of running or maybe more, I was feeling a lot better. I could’ve kept going but it was getting dark by then and I didn’t have any reflectants, so I decided to head home.
it had been a while, I think I had a lot of pent-up anxiety, I need to do it more often I think. but I feel good cause I feel as if I’ve been challenged by nature and technology and I won.